So I’ve been back on the swipe game since it’s apparently the only way to meet men in this city {don’t get me started}. Recently I matched with a guy and he was quick to get my number in order to make a date. Awesome! Great! Get me off this app! Things got a little weird when he insisted that we should meet THAT night, regardless of that fact that I told him I had plans with friends that evening. When I kept saying no, the gaslighting started in full force so it was already pretty obvious that this was NOT someone I wanted to actually meet in person. I stopped responding to his texts.

A couple nights later, after zero communication, I got a text from him. Full disclosure, I intended on ignoring it but had enjoyed just the right amount of adult beverages that night to say to myself “hey self, you have a blog where it’s fun to tell stories about your life…let’s see where this goes”.

And boy did he deliver!

{Remember…hadn’t texted in days}

Him: Also why do u wear so much makeup
Me: Hahahahaha what exactly are you trying to accomplish with that text?
Him: It’s simply a question
Never understood why girls cake it on lol
Enlighten me
Me: Well I’m not one of those girls so I can’t speak for them
Him: Lol
{some small talk consisting of him telling me I hate intimacy because I won’t meet him in that moment (11pm), that I’ve had shitty boyfriends, and that he can change that}
THEN
Him: How old are u
Me: Ha! 32
Him: You have some facial crevices
Theres no way u are 32 lol
42?
Me: Wow
Him: What?
Deep laugh lines. So dont lie to me and say youre 32 lol
Me: I’m absolutely 32. I’ve just laughed a whole lot in my 32 years.
Him: So many catfishes on this app
So  how old are u really
Be honest
Me: I’m 32.
Him: I don’t believe it.
Neither does my friend
{crying laughing emoji}
How old really??
Me:

{The next day}
Him: Hey whats good
Me:

I still laugh when I read it! Could this guy act any more like a child when he doesn’t get his way?! No wonder he’s single. I consider the bullet fully dodged. And this is by no means a “tell me I’m actually pretty” post. I know good and well that I don’t look 32, let alone 42, and I pray every day that my face keeps up the good work!! I just know I can’t be the only girl out in the dating app world who has dealt with guys like this. And I’m SO glad to be old enough to know that the old phrase “If he picks on you that means he likes you” DOES. NOT. APPLY.