It’s funny when I read back on some of these posts. It seems like I’ve only got something to say when things are down or I’m single and honestly, this post isn’t going to be any different. Maybe I should get an actual therapist instead of using all of you as emotional guinea pigs. But this is free so…here we are.
There’s a song I’ve liked for years with a lyric that goes “If love is a labor, I’ll slave till the end”. I’ve always been someone who looks forward to the struggle that a real relationship brings. Well, maybe not looked forward to it but recognized it as something that comes with a relationship. I like the story that leads two people to being together and let’s be honest, it’s no fun if it’s all rainbows and roses now is it?? The obstacles they go through to choose each other make it more beautiful.
That being said, I can’t help but feel like I’ve taken this ‘love is a labor’ idea too far. The things I find myself willing to put up with because I think it’ll all work out in the end are starting to shock me. I’m sure my close friends are all rolling their eyes right now and saying “gee ya think???”. We all learn at our own paces okay!
But yeah, I don’t know why I can’t seem to see all these road blocks early on and avoid them, instead of continuing to drive towards a dead end. Guys who think they’re ready for a relationship that aren’t. Guys who are coming out of a bad breakup. Guys who don’t live anywhere near me. I don’t think it’s a self esteem thing. I know what I deserve, what I bring to the table and what I want. From the outside I’m sure it looks like a desperation thing. Yes I would like to be in a relationship. But I know damn well that my life’s happiness doesn’t rely on finding someone and that there’s no rush to get there either. So why do I do this to myself? Why do I keep myself in these situations that clearly won’t end well for me? Do you know? Because I honestly don’t. Maybe realizing it is the first step. {insert shoulder shrug emoji}
I guess what I’m saying is, it’s time to make sure I’m slaving for the right person. And not right off the bat. I need to realize when I see the first road block that this isn’t someone to start laboring for. Don’t put all my eggs in that broken basket!!
Love IS a labor and I WILL slave till the end. But only for the right person.
And here’s the song for your enjoyment: Swing Life Away
