I’ve made the decision to start giving people the energy they give me. I find myself being disappointed lately when I realize that I’m the only one trying in a dynamic, be it a relationship or friendship. I was always a ‘treat others the way you would like to be treated’ type of person (which I’m not always perfect at…being human and all). There seems to be an asterisk missing from that way of thinking though. For some reason I thought that IF I treated people the ways I wanted to be treated, then I WOULD get that treatment back. Well I’m realizing over and over again that that isn’t how it works. So when I start to feel like I’m investing time and effort into someone and not getting the same back, I get disappointed. And boy does it crush me. It makes me feel like I’ve wasted so much of my time and emotions on someone who doesn’t care either way. And why would I hold myself in that position?? But I suppose it’s partly my fault for holding the expectation on them in the first place.

So what do I do? Have zero expectations of people and assume the worst? Expect the same from people and be disappointed? I’ve been working for years on not being such a black and white person. Some Most situations in life aren’t that simple or straight forward. I feel like there has to be a middle from these options and it’s giving what I get. If I’m matching the same efforts I’m getting from someone then I’m not getting frustrated or let down. I’m not holding it against them that I’m not getting as much as I think I should.

I don’t want to assume the worst from people. It’s not in my nature. I’ve been a pretty bitter person in the past and I know it’s not a road I want to go down again. It’s fruitless and honestly, damaging. So I will make the effort to go forward without expectations but also not feeling taken advantage of emotionally. I will take people as they present themselves instead of how I see their potential.

I will give back the energy that I am given.