I love having friends who are out in the world, doing what they love, living their dreams. I get such a feeling of pride and joy for them. I turn into a bit of a cheerleader, rooting them on, encouraging them.

But on the other side of the coin, having such accomplished friends only reminds me of the fact that I’m not out there in the world. Not doing what I love. Not living my dreams. And with that comes a slight sense of failure.

Yes I’m only 24 and yes I’m not the only one out there NOT using my degree. But that doesn’t make me feel like I’m disappointing myself less.

Deep down, in my gut, I know my current situation is temporary. I won’t be living with my parents forever. I will be working in a theatre again. I won’t have to have 3 jobs.

But right now, in this moment, all I can feel is fail.