i don’t fall hard very fast. 
i don’t lose myself in someone else.
but all those years ago i did with you. 
and i don’t know how or why

we’ve never been together. never shared a life. never been a pair.

but you’ve always been the one. 
the one i compare the rest to. the one i find myself holding out for. 
the one who makes being with the rest worth it. 
i’ve thought about all the things.
the things i’ve never thought about with anyone else
the silly things
like doing our laundry
 and bringing lunch to you at work.
 or walking our dog,
sharing your name, and
seeing you at the end of a long aisle.
is there a time?
a time when we get the chance to see how it goes
if we sink or swim
did it come and we missed it?  
i feel myself coming to terms with the answer being yes.
maybe there isn’t meant to be such a time. 
maybe i’m holding on to something that will never be.
maybe it’s time to let go of something i never had.

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