The best way to describe the way my brain is would be a stock ticker. It never stops. It just runs, thought after thought. Some are entirely random, some aren’t. Sleep or stupid TV shows are my only real break from it. At times, like in the blogosphere, it’s a great thing. I can get my thoughts out there and sometimes other people can relate to whatever it is I’m talking about. It’s a great feeling when someone else says that they were helped or inspired by something I wrote.  You never know how your ideas will be taken by other people or if they’ll even be read. ANYWHO…on the opposite end of that comes the over-thinking of things. With such an active brain I tend to over think things and usually I think them into the negative. Can we say unproductive??!! I’ll take a normal situation and slowly turn it into something that it probably isn’t. I prepare myself for the worst too. Somewhere in my mind I tell myself that if I expect the worst, when it happens I won’t be taken off guard by it. And if great things do happen then I’ll be pleasantly surprised. While this seems like a “safe” way to look at things I can’t help but wonder if it’s healthy. Why wouldn’t I expect the best for myself? Maybe because that’s not always what life deals out. I was discussing my “turn to the negative” thinking with someone the other day and he flat out said to me “stop it. don’t do that with me”. I couldn’t help but be a little stunned. He said it so matter-of-factly, like I have a switch. If only it were that easy. So I started thinking about it. How do I shut my brain off, when I’m not sleeping? And more importantly, keep it from picking things apart and turning every little bit into a negative. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m not a negative person at all so it’s not like I need to focus my thoughts on rainbows and sunshine. Maybe it starts with catching the negatives when they start. Recognizing them and stopping them. NOT taking apart every situation and analyzing it to the Nth degree. If that doesn’t start to work….well…I guess I’ll have to think of something else. In the mean time, I will keep using this as a tool to get things out of my head and hopefully that will slow the ticker down a bit a little. It definitely feels good to get things out there. It brings clarity to things that I would usually just keep in my head and never work through. Thank you blog!

When you think about YOU what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Is it something negative or critical? If so, CUT IT OUT! Instead ask yourself “what’s great about me?” and the answer is NOT allowed to be “nothing”. If you don’t know that there are great things about you then no one else will know them either. Are you creative or thoughtful? Do you have a great ass or perfect teeth? It doesn’t matter what it is, just find it and know it! There’s a huge difference between being cocky/full of yourself and having self-assurance. Being full of yourself just makes you ugly on the inside and outside. But self confidence can really take you places. AND it’s contagious.
So ask yourself, right now, “What’s so great about me?” and then answer yourself. You don’t have to tell anyone, just yourself, and really believe it. Loving yourself is the first step to letting someone else love you too!

Everything is a first; a discovery; a dance. You watch yourself turn into this giddy person that you never were before. You can’t not smile when your phone rings and it’s him. You were content with your life before him; things were just the way you wanted them to be. Now you find yourself going to the gym at particular times and making sure you look a little bit better than usual. When your elbows touch casually a spark of electricity runs through you and you never knew you could be more conscious of your every limb. You can’t help but wonder what it will be like when you touch more than just elbows. You never knew you could smile as much as you do when you’re together and you can’t help but wonder how far things will go. Could this person be the best thing to ever happen to you or could he be someone who teach you a lesson about life and love that you haven’t quite learned yet? Everything is new and fresh and wonderful and a question. There’s nothing else quite like the beginning.