I went to the gym yesterday and had a really good workout. Well, any workout could be considered really good lately since I haven’t been entirely dedicated to fitness {shameful}. Anyway, I was feeling fit and on my game. I didn’t eat a huge dinner since I had to go to work so I was still feeling pretty good…till I got home from work. I felt like I hadn’t eaten in days. The next thing I knew I had consumed 4 wings, ham and cheese rolled together, and some veggie chips. It was a 10 o’clock massacre. I was so ashamed of myself. I’m usually very good about not eating after 8 or 9 and definitely NOT eating that much. It was like my brain told my appetite that I had a free pass since I had exercised that day. I was and still am mildly frustrated about it. What is it about eating right that I can’t seem to get a grasp on? I just LOVE food!!! I can’t win.
Author: trostlsa
you
i don’t fall hard very fast.
i don’t lose myself in someone else.
but all those years ago i did with you.
and i don’t know how or why
we’ve never been together. never shared a life. never been a pair.
but you’ve always been the one.
the one i compare the rest to. the one i find myself holding out for.
the one who makes being with the rest worth it.
i’ve thought about all the things.
the things i’ve never thought about with anyone else
the silly things
like doing our laundry
and bringing lunch to you at work.
or walking our dog,
sharing your name, and
seeing you at the end of a long aisle.
is there a time?
a time when we get the chance to see how it goes
if we sink or swim
did it come and we missed it?
i feel myself coming to terms with the answer being yes.
maybe there isn’t meant to be such a time.
maybe i’m holding on to something that will never be.
maybe it’s time to let go of something i never had.
a good thing
I haven’t done any theatre since I moved home and I’ve been dieing to get involved in anything. It kills me to know that I have this degree…this very expensive degree…that’s not being used for a damn thing. And as much as I would love to get paid for it, such theatre positions are few and far between in these parts. There was a large part of me that had given up any hope to really get into threatre while I am living here.
A couple weeks ago I had the inkling to talk to a friend of mine about volunteering at the high school we went to, for their musical in the winter. I figured since it’s high school it wouldn’t be such a big time commitment that I would be able to keep working my 2 jobs. After messaging my friend he quickly informed me that he wasn’t working at the high school, but he was working at the community college’s theatre as their sound technician. He also happened to mention that they could always use some extra help around the theatre and that they were opening a show that weekend. Music to my ears. So last Wednesday I made my way to the college. From the moment I walked in I felt at home….where I belonged. For the rest of the week and into the weekend I spent my nights at the theatre, first in Tech, then into performances. And this week has been the same.
It’s been great. Busy but great. I haven’t felt this fulfilled and happy in a really long time. The people I’m working with are so welcoming and it’s been so fun getting to know them. It’s like being among my people again. They understand my weird because they have the same weird…it’s the weird that made us decide at one point in our lives that we were willing to starve for our love of theatre. {Ok, maybe not starve, but you see what I mean.} The point is, I couldn’t be happier. Being at the theatre has been like a ray of sunshine that I very badly needed. I feel a little more alive these days….like I’m in the right place at the right time. The stars have aligned.
So I guess it’s safe to say that this isn’t a good thing…it’s a damn great thing.
scorned
There is only one thing worse than being wronged by someone you’ve just met….being wronged by someone you’ve known for years. Someone you’ve trusted. Confided in.
How do you move on from that? Do you move on from that?
I want to believe that everyone deserves a second chance. Especially if it’s someone who you care about. But i also know there are certain things that can’t be reversed. Broken trusts that can’t be mended.
So do I move on or let it slide? I don’t know.
I just don’t know.
quilt retreat
Last weekend my sister and I packed up our sewing machines and our projects and headed to the quilt retreat! We were both pretty excited for it this year since there was a time when we didn’t think we’d be able to go this fall. But as it turned out we made it happen and couldn’t wait to work on our projects. And to make it even sweeter, we were both able to get off a whole day on Friday so we had ample time to get to the retreat and really get some work done.
As always it was so nice to see the other quilting ladies and catch up with them. It’s almost like having my Grandma there with me. It’s a real comfort to know that they still care about Cassie and I. They get a real big kick over us being there and continuing the tradition of it. There were actually some other girls out age that went this year too so that was pretty exciting for us. It’s not very often that I meet quilters my age and sometimes I worry that it may die out after a while. I hope it won’t. For all the old lady flack it gets, quilting is still a really beautiful art form I think and people would appreciate it more if they really knew the work that went into it.
Long story short we had a blast. We were able to get so much accomplished and had a really fun time with each other as well. I took the T-shirt quilt that I started during the Spring retreat. I hadn’t really gotten much done back in the Spring so there was a lot of work to be done for it. I’m super pleased to say that my hard work really paid off. I was able to get 4 rows sewn on and only have 2 more to go. And I couldn’t be more pleased with the way it’s turning out. I can’t wait for it to be finished!! I’ve wanted this quilt for so long.
Here are a few pics from the weekend. I don’t have any of the quilt currently…I kind of want it to be a big reveal!
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| yes I had lunchables! |
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| and yes they were delicious!! |
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| the applique FCS square I made. It’s a little silly but I still like it |
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| the strips monster |
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| the rooms of ladies |
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| my happy little space |
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| figuring out where I wanted the shirts to go |
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| Row 1 complete! |
nesting
My sister, the nut that she is, coined a new term for me last week. Nesting.
Now, according to Cassie, nesting is something that happens to you when Fall arrives. You have the urge to settle indoors, be cozy and cuddled, maybe bake or cook hearty foods. I think it’s likened to a domestic hibernation.
Anyway, this term came about because the other day I was talking with her about how I’ve been a little emotional lately and feeling a bit lonely. It seems like most of the people around me are married, in a relationship, having babies, and the like. While I’m not really in a rush to do or have any of those things, I guess it’s just something that’s been on my mind lately. So Cassie’s diagnosis is that I’m nesting.
And strangely enough I think I have to agree with her. {Hear that Cass…don’t let it go to your head now}I’ve been very internal and contemplative lately. Always thinking about things and life and…things. Wanting to hunker down indoors with my knitting or a good book and some hot tea. I only need a fireplace to really make it official.
Since nesting is new to me I’m not sure how long it will last exactly. I do know that I can’t be the only one going through it and it’s really not so bad. So thank you to Cassie for the expert diagnosis. And to anyone else out there who’s nesting too, denial is the first stage so just accept it and go with the flow. {Karli}
And yes fellas, you can get it too. You just may not admit it or get emotional about it. It’s ok….no one will think less of you.
To: My Forever Love
Divorce is not an option. We can not go into our life together with the thinking that “well if it doesn’t work out there’s always divorce”. That just won’t do. With me it’s forever. Now I’m not always the easiest to deal with and I’m a little bit crazy at times. So you should think long and hard before you decide that you want to be stuck with my weirdness. And if I say yes, you’ll know that you’re gonna be it for me…till the end. So now you know.
Love,
Your Forever Love
hairs
I tried this new hair do out today. I havent quite decided if I like it or not though. Thoughts?
November
Is it really here?? Already??!!!
What happened to October?? Were there already 31 days of it?
I don’t feel like I had enough of it.
On the other side of the coin though, I’m actually looking forward to the holiday season this year. For the first time in a long time. I even listened to Christmas music last week…something I never did last year. Sure I was excited to spend time with my family and do the traditional Christmas things, but it really just felt like any other day last year. And I know it’s not Christmas time yet obviously but I still can’t help but feel like somethings different this year. I’m different this year. I’m lighter. On the inside. And it feels good.
It feels really good.
Plus it’s No Shave November right?? Hairy legs for weeks!!! ok..maybe not. 🙂
Sarah Problems
Awesomeness: tanning on a cold rainy day.
NOT Awesomeness: putting your sweaty sports bra back on cuz you’re at the gym. Ish.
